March Kids Konnection article -- "Keeping in Touch with Family is a Great Way to Keep Memories Alive"

This picture is my Aunt Florence on the left, my Uncle Erwin in the middle and my mom on the right. It is the picture which accompanied my March Kids Konnection column in the Orange County Jewish Life Magazine, which I talk about below!

Where does the time go? It's been a whole week since my last post! We had a fun week of lots of playdates with friends, time by the pool, seeing a couple of movies, hanging out in the evenings with our new little friends from Japan (who have left already), going to usual baseball, softball, dance, theater, hebrew school, etc. The days just flew by.

It's been on my list of things to do to send copies of this article to all of the family, but, of course it's been a month and I haven't gotten to it yet. So, I really think the best way for everyone to have a chance to read it is for me to post it here on the blog. So, here it is. I hope you enjoy it and would love to hear your feedback.

This way friends and everyone else can read it as well, although some of you locals have read it already in the magazine! (For those of you who don't know, the magazine goes to every Jewish family in Orange County who belongs to a synagogue or the JCC!)

When we get back from our trip, I'll post my April Kids Konnection column, which is out already too.

We're off tomorrow for 4 days aboard the Carnival Paradise cruiseship. From Long Beach, we spend a day on Catalina Island, a day in Ensenada Mexico and a day at sea, before returning home. A short get-away, but we're looking forward to some relaxing and fun family time, which we desperately need!

I'll write again when we get home and post pictures.

Here's the article:

Orange County Jewish Life - Printer Friendly Page

KIDS' KONNECTION
By Barbara Boarnet


Remembering loved ones who pass away is important in Judaism. From when we are young, we listen to the Rabbi announce the names of those for whom people are observing the Yahrtzeits, the anniversary of their deaths, and we join together in reciting the Kaddish. This is the most important way we honor the memory of our relatives.Another traditional Jewish way to honor the memory of family who has passed away is to name our children after them. Our oldest son, Harrison Isaac, is named after my father Herbert and Marlon’s paternal grandfather, Irvin. Our daughter, Michela Emily, is named after Marlon’s maternal uncle Mendel and Marlon’s paternal great-grandmother Etta. Our youngest son, Jacob Maxwell, is named after my paternal grandmother Jen and my paternal grandfather Max. Our children know who they are named after, and we tell them stories about these wonderful relatives.Losing my father to cancer fourteen years ago was devastating, but the impact of the death of my older relatives was not so pronounced until recently. Sadly, my mother’s brother Erwin and my mother’s sister Florence (her only siblings) recently passed away within two months of each other. I grieve not only for the void they leave in our lives, but for the fact that, with the exception of one of my mom’s close cousins, who is ninety-six and going strong, my mother’s entire generation of relatives is now gone… her siblings, all the spouses, and her many cousins. As I realized that I no longer have any aunts and uncles, I was struck by the realization of how much I will miss them. I was in the habit of regularly keeping in touch with them – sending emails, letters, pictures of the kids, and even copies of this column, and for that I am grateful. Growing up, I was very close to both of them and saw them both regularly. I can't think of a single event or occasion in my life that Aunt Florence and Uncle Erwin were not a large part of, and it saddens me that they will not be here for future momentous events. I'm forever grateful that they were both such a large part of my life, will carry with me the fond memories I have of them, and will make sure that my children and their children know and remember what wonderful aunts and uncles I had.Uncle Erwin lived in Pittsburgh and had not been to California since my wedding in 1994. Our children had never met him until last year when we had an opportunity to spend time with him during a trip to Pittsburgh. They enjoyed hearing stories about him and my mom growing up. They were amazed at how much he knew about their lives and how interested he was in what they were doing. I fondly recall a birthday card that Jacob sent to Uncle Erwin a few years ago, before he got to know him on that visit. He wrote something like “Happy Birthday Uncle Erwin. I love you very much. But, who are you again, anyway?” Uncle Erwin called me and laughed about that.My Aunt Florence also lived in Pittsburgh, but we saw her more often over the years at family events and when she came to visit. We were fortunate to be able to see her as recently as a couple of days before she died. She had a stroke in Florida just a week before we were already planning to go for my cousin’s (her great grandson’s) Bar Mitzvah. Although she was unable to attend the Bar Mitzvah or weekend festivities, we were able to visit with her in the hospital. I know all of us being there made her so happy, and we cherish those moments that we were able to see her, hold her hand, and tell her that we loved her.Aunt Florence was like a second mother to me. She was always there for us and was a huge part of our lives. Marlon and I have always greatly appreciated how generous she has been with us. When she used to visit, we would laughingly ask her if she wanted to wash any clothes in "her" washing machine and dryer or watch “her” TV set, since we bought them with checks she had sent for various occasions. I have felt privileged that I have always been treated like one of her grandchildren. Sometimes I think I forgot that I actually wasn't one. I know that she loved me as much as I loved her. My mother, as you can imagine, is devastated by the loss of her sister and brother so close together. Although they were separated by geographic distance for all of their adult lives, they were always there for each other, kept in daily phone contact, and had many, many visits over the years. It was truly a special relationship. My sister and I are equally close, and I hope that never changes. I hope that my children share such a closeness and special relationship when they are adults.The void that the loss of these relatives leaves is large, but I am comforted by the knowledge that, at eighty-nine and ninety-one, they lived long, full, and happy lives. It is difficult for all of us to lose people that we love so much, but I am hopeful that they are in a wonderful place, reunited with their spouses, my dad, and all of their many relatives.As we all face the loss of our parents and their generation, it is now our privilege and our responsibility to keep our families close together. My extended family of relatives has always been close -- in large part because of the closeness the older generation shared. I would hate to lose that closeness. I regularly keep in contact with everyone, because that has always been important to me. I hope the rest of my extended family will join me in continuing to keep our families connected and strong as time goes on, by regular phone calls, emails, and visits. I want my children and their children and their children beyond that to continue to share the close relationship that we have all shared over the years. That is the greatest way we can honor the memory of our wonderful parents, aunts, and uncles.

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