Kids Konnection column, June 2008

Here is the text of my Kids Konnection column for this month "Find a Way to Connect Youth"... Enjoy and be sure to comment! (share your ideas of ways that you've found to connect your kids to other kids at synagogue, church, etc - what a great topic for dialog!)


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KIDS' KONNECTION
By Barbara Boarnet


Many parents struggle with balancing our children’s Jewish and secular lives. Most kids are busy with sports, dance, art, gymnastics, and all of the other activities that occupy their time, not to mention school and homework. With busy schedules, it’s often hard to make synagogue a priority. We all send our children to Hebrew and religious school every week, and most of us make an effort to attend services as often a possible, but many of us still seek a way to help our children really connect to the synagogue and the friends there. Kids see their friends at school every day and have multiple opportunities to spend time together. It’s harder to form bonds and connections with the kids at synagogue. We just need to make sure we’re taking advantage of the bonding opportunities at the synagogue. The activities mentioned here are based on what is offered at Congregation Shir Ha-Ma’alot, our own synagogue, but most Orange County synagogues have similar activities to explore. The main activities that our kids participate in at temple that have been really significant in helping them connect are youth band, youth choir, youth group activities, and hanging out in the youth lounge. Our oldest son, Harrison, has been playing the trombone in the youth band for the last two years. It has been the most wonderful, fabulous experience, and I’d like to encourage all of you with kids who play instruments to get them involved in your synagogue’s youth band. If it doesn’t already have one, talk to your cantor or musical director, and see if you can get one started.The benefits of taking part in this band have been so many. First, the kids have a blast. They have rehearsals once a week, on Sundays after religious school, and they enjoy the camaraderie of jamming and practicing together. The ages range from fourth grade to twelfth grade, and it has been really nice opportunity to bring kids together.Second, the kids in the youth band feel an extra connection to the temple and feel as if they are a meaningful part of the service. Moreover, their participation once a month in family services greatly enhances the musical beauty of our services. In addition to traditional prayers and melodies, they have worked on a wide variety of musical genres. One of their favorites has been a remake of Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” into “Jewish Man,” with special lyrics written by our cantor, Arie Shikler. Heavy metal on the bima is a bit different, but was a great hit! Third, participating in the youth band is an excellent way to supplement your child’s music instruction. Our youth band director, Paul Carman, is an excellent teacher. The hour he spends with the kids every Sunday is almost like a free hour of private music lessons, and we all know how expensive those can be. (Paul is also available for private lessons on Sundays as well, right at the temple, which has been very convenient.) Harrison’s band director at school has been amazed at how much better he gets every week from the extra practice on Sundays and Friday night services. In addition to playing at family services, our youth band put on a wonderful concert a couple of weeks ago. Directed by Carman and accompanied with vocals by Cantor Shikler, the group played a variety of Jewish melodies and secular songs. The band members plan to take their repertoire “on the road” and play at some of the local senior living facilities and other venues. They may be available for hire.Jacob and Michela have been singing in the youth choir for the last couple of years. Although they are hoping to switch to the youth band next year, being in the choir has been a positive experience that they have both enjoyed. The kids who sing in the choir have had opportunities to hang out together at rehearsals every Sunday morning after religious school, and they have enjoyed being exposed to a wide variety of Jewish songs. Participating in the family Shabbat services once a month has enabled them to make a meaningful contribution to the temple. Shir Ha-Ma’alot has a very well established youth group program that has helped the kids to bond and connect with other kids at temple. The synagogue is forming a new youth committee, so that we can continue to enhance the youth program and make it even better. Youth group events are offered for 4th 5th graders, 6th through 8th graders and 9th through 12th graders. The high school group has its own student leadership, which is a wonderful way for them to be even more involved. The lower grades have activities once a month. There is always a wide variety of activities ranging from outings to park days to fun and games at the synagogue. Each event has a Jewish component and, of course, food. The county-wide dance for 6th to 8th grade Jewish youth at all of the synagogues, held annually at Temple Beth Sholom in Tustin, is a wonderful event. Our youth lounge is open for “hanging out” twice a month after Friday night services during the Oneg time and is a wonderful way for the Jewish kids to spend time together and enjoy the “privilege” of having their own space. No younger siblings are allowed, and only the couple of parents supervising that particular night are in there, so it is really their own space. If your synagogue doesn’t have this, it’s easy to start a youth lounge by just designating an area, putting in some games and other things (parents are always willing to donate items to this kind of a cause), and finding a parent or two to supervise.Any youth activities at the synagogue are sure to help strengthen the bond kids have with the synagogue and their temple friends!• Barbara Boarnet is an attorney specializing in legal/human resource consulting, the mother of three children ages 12 and 9_-year-old twins, a member of Congregation Shir Ha Ma’a lot, a life member of Irvine-Kadima Hadassah, and a member of the PTA Board at Vista Verde.For feedback, contact editor@ocjewishlife.com.
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